My Diagnosis

I gaze at the sheet of paper: 
the answer to everything. 
It all makes sense now: 
my fear of loud noises
my obsession with animals
my messy writing.

The answers were all there, 
but like an optical illusion, 
doctors were tricked and came to the wrong conclusion. 

I’m left behind. 
A lone wolf.

Despite my
friends
and family
who love me,
nobody knows what it’s like
to be me-
-like a frequently misunderstood creature
feared by humans.

I just want someone to talk to
someone who gets it. 
After all
isn’t that all anyone wants? 
Companionship? 
Someone who understands them–
So they can feel a little less alone? 

It’s all written here,
on this piece of paper. 
My life story for everyone to see.
They know who I am–
the real me. 
I don’t have to hide anymore,
but why am I still afraid?

I’m different
but not
“different.” 
I’m not some exotic creature
from some far away, 
unknown land. 

I see the world in my own way 
but I am just as capable as anyone else
in this room,
in this city,
in this world. 

I have unlocked a new piece of my identity,
but I am not bound by my diagnosis,
I am not chained like a prisoner. 
I can still fly away,
and I will,
to new horizons, 
towards a future, 
ripe with possibility and discovery.