Artist’s Statement
For my creative writing class, I chose to write about mental health with the specific goal of spreading autism awareness. My work combines a mixture of fictional storytelling with some of my own experiences as a person on the autism spectrum.
My pieces are meant to serve as a platform for open discussions of autism and the wide variety of ways in which it manifests itself in different people. Even though I possess full creative license over the characters I created for my short story, I wanted to stay sensitive to the fact that my position on autism is heavily influenced by my own life experiences and my high-functioning autism. My writing reflects that by being based mostly on my own perspective rather than that of someone else. For example, my fictional character Jay’s hyperfixation on a certain subject (a book) is a common trait of many with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) which I can easily relate to and understand. Although not everyone on the spectrum will find my characters relatable on every level, straying beyond my personal knowledge runs the risk of portraying stereotypes rather than facts.
The goal of both my poems and my short story is to demonstrate that there are many aspects of autism that may originally appear as a weakness but, in the right circumstances, could actually prove a strength. In my short story, Jay is on the autism spectrum. Even though there are many aspects which define someone with autism, for Jay’s character, I wanted to specifically emphasize the idea of the special interest. The term special interest refers to a subject in which a person on the spectrum becomes intensely focused on to the point that they are constantly thinking and talking about it. Without context and in a normal setting, one might find Jay’s character annoying. However, in my short story, The Transformation, there is a twist: in a world far from home, only Jay’s expertise will give her and Katelyn any chance of surviving long enough to return home. For both girls, I wanted their character arcs to crisscross: as Jay grows more confident over the course of the story, Katelyn becomes more vulnerable.
My work was mainly inspired by two authors, Val Emmich, author of Dear Evan Hansen, and Rick Riordan, author of Percy Jackson, along with many other mythology inspired book series. From Dear Evan Hansen, I wanted to place a similar emphasis on mental health, or in my case autism even as I weaved a tale of fantasy and imagination. From Percy Jackson, I wanted to illustrate a similar idea that traits of certain mental conditions could be taken as disadvantages or special abilities depending on circumstance and perspective.
I think that the most important message I want readers to take away from reading my work is about the value of people with ASD: the passion we hold regarding our special interests, no matter how obscure or strange they initially seem.
The Transformation
A push. A fall. A gasp of surprise. Katelyn’s eyes finally adjust to the blinding white light. She finds herself in a strange forest. As her friend Jay stands frozen in bewilderment, Katelyn approaches an algae-filled lake, glistening with an iridescent green glow. Katelyn takes off her shoes, so she can test out the water. Her toes splash as she dips them in. It is cold but refreshing, and the water is unnaturally clear. Across the lake, an endless forest leads up to snowy mountains. Despite the overcast sky, the air feels warm but crisp.
“Um, Jay? Where are we?”
“IT WORKED. I didn’t think it would, but it did! IT WORKED! IT WORKED!”
“Wait. We’re in your favorite book? Transformed? How?”
“I don’t know, but it’s exciting, right?” Jay exclaimed, her eyes lit up with growing enthusiasm.
“Yeah… I guess, but how are we going to get back?”
“Oh… I hadn’t thought of that.”
Thoughts race through Katelyn’s head and she begins to pace nervously. How are we going to get back? Could we be trapped here forever? I mean, I never liked the pressure of being the “popular” girl, but I certainly don’t belong in a book!
“Hey,” says a calm voice, jerking Katelyn out of her momentary panic. She feels a comforting arm wrap around her. “It’s okay. I know unfamiliar people and places make you nervous. I would be in your exact same position if we were anywhere else, but at the moment, it’s taking all my brain power not to freak out over the fact that I’m actually in my favorite book!”
Suddenly, Jay’s confident demeanor falters for a second, “Oh… I hope I don’t say anything awkward. Anyway, you shouldn’t worry. I’ve got this. I can navigate this world better than anyone.”
Katelyn laughs, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Still, I’m worried. Isn’t the whole premise of Transformed that, after getting lost in the woods, seven friends learn to survive in the wilderness because they can shapeshift into any animal at will? Last I checked, we don’t have that power.”
“Yeah, um, I didn’t think of that. I guess I was thinking we could—”
“Who are you?” a voice calls behind the two friends. Katelyn jumps, but Jay remains still and unsurprised. The two girls turn around to find a young girl standing behind them. She looks about their age, maybe a few years younger. She has curly brown hair and a fierce expression on her face. Katelyn gets the feeling this girl is not someone she would want to cross. Glancing nervously at her friend, Katelyn is shocked to find that Jay looks completely unperturbed by the emergence of a newcomer.
Jay is the first to speak, “I’m Jay, and this is my friend Katelyn. I can’t believe I’m finally meeting you! You’re my favorite charact—I mean—it’s nice to meet you!”
“I see,” the girl stares each of them down as if checking for weapons. “You might as well come with me then.” She turns around and dashes off leaving them with no choice but to follow.
As they run, Jay whispers, “That’s Mei. I’m guessing you haven’t gotten to that part in the book yet? Where Mei is introduced?”
“No. I guess not,” Katelyn admits, breathing heavily. “Where’s she taking us?”
“I’m guessing to their main camp.”
“Whose camp? Should we tell them we don’t belong here?”
“The camp of the transformed. As for your second question, no that’s probably a bad idea,”
Katelyn pauses for a moment to consider this, “Okay, but what should we tell them? We can’t stay here forever!”
“We’re here,” Mei says, momentarily interrupting their conversation.
After running for what feels like miles, Jay and Katelyn stop to catch their breath as Mei scouts out the campsite. In the center of the camp, there are log benches and a fire pit. Scattered around are seven different tents. Each one is a different color to represent its respective resident. Directly across from the campfire, Jay spots the makeshift kitchen. It looks like a simple grey trailer, but the smells wafting from it are heavenly. In the distance, a bird sings, but the tune is intricate enough that Jay suspects it is probably one of the transformed: a human who has shapeshifted into a bird.
Mei introduces Katelyn and Jay to all her friends, and then, they begin work. Jay tries to come up with a cover story for her and Katelyn’s mysterious arrival, but it seems Mei is just happy to have an extra set of hands helping out, so she doesn’t ask many questions. The next few hours or days—time runs differently when one is trapped in a book—go by in a blur. Together, the two friends catch fish, learn to hunt and track, and forage for plants and berries. They even begin to have fun and make friends in their new reality. Still, Katelyn knows that they must get home, and after work one day, she finally decides to nag Jay about their plans to return back to their universe.
“Jay, I’ve let you enjoy the past few days without complaint, but don’t you think it’s high time we think about going home?”
“I-I guess.”
“I mean, do you have any idea how to get home?”
“I suppose there’s one way, but it’s extremely dangerous. We might not make it out alive. If not for the help of River, Mei’s girlfriend, she never would’ve survived.”
“We have to try, though, right?”
“Yeah…”
Katelyn gazes at her friend worriedly. Jay has a wide grin on her face, despite the high risk of the plan she just proposed. Katelyn is thankful that Jay’s knowledge of the Transformed universe is endless, but can reading about something ever prepare someone for the real deal? They spend the next few days training harder than they’ve ever trained before, but all too soon, the day of the start of their journey finally arrives. Just before sunrise, Mei wakes them up for a hasty breakfast and helps them take stock of the resources they packed.
“Good luck. You’ll need it,” Mei calls in a final goodbye.
“If you survive, send us a sign!” River yells enthusiastically.
“We will…” Jay calls back halfheartedly, knowing full well that they probably won’t be returning any time soon, if at all. Then, with one final wave, Jay and Katelyn disappear into the trees.
“So… Do you know where to go?”
“Um… Give me a moment. I need to remember what happens in the book.”
A look of realization dawns on Jay’s face, “Oh! Wait, I remember. They look for tracks on the ground.”
“Why? Were they looking for someone? Or… something?” Katelyn asks with growing worry.
“Yeah… I’m sure we’ll be fine though. I don’t see any—” Jay stops mid-sentence and gasps. “N-never m-mind. B-be v-very q-quiet.”
They left the campsite at daybreak, but now it seems as if a cloud has covered up the sun, leaving Katelyn and Jay in near darkness. The once warm air is now cold enough to make Katelyn shiver. The trees are denser now. The grass is still green, but it glows with an almost supernatural light. Aside from a faint whistling in the wind, and Jay’s steady breathing, the forest is deadly quiet. After a few minutes of walking in relative silence, with Jay’s comforting presence over her shoulder, Katelyn begins to grow more confident. That peace is quickly broken, however, when she sees a flash of movement out of the corner of her eye.
Slowly, the two girls turn around and find themselves face to face with a monster. For a moment, Jay and Katelyn stand there, frozen, gazing at the fearsome beast in their path. It stares back. Standing at twenty feet tall, the beast has red glowing eyes and eight hairy legs. It growls a challenge and looks prepared for a fight. The two girls back up slowly as the dirt on the ground crunches beneath their feet.
“W-what is t-that?” Katelyn whispers, but Jay just looks at her in warning and mouths the words, “Be quiet, and don’t move.”
The creature stares at them for a few minutes more before finally getting bored and moving along.
Katelyn is the first to break the silence, “Is it gone?”
“I think so, but we should stay here for a little while longer in case it decides to come back,” Jay responds.
An uncomfortable silence passes over the two girls, each taking a moment to comprehend their potentially near-death experience.
“Okay, I think it’s safe to keep going,” Jay says.
“Alright, but don’t walk too far ahead. You’re my compass,” Katelyn laughs, although she is completely serious.
“Do you think we’ll ever come back?”
“I mean… No? Unless you know how to magically transport yourself across realities,” Katelyn responds.
The girls walk on until Jay suddenly stops, a fearful look in her eyes. She grabs Katelyn’s arm.
“K-Katelyn? I t-think someone’s f-following us.”
“W-What do y-you mean?”
“I just—aaaaah!”
Jay screams as a mysterious force scoops her off the ground. By the time Katelyn comes to her senses, Jay is gone. The sky seems to darken, even more than it already had, an ominous warning of what lies ahead. Katelyn can feel her heartbeat quicken and her palms grow sweaty. She slowly turns around, careful to make as little noise as possible. Aside from the sound of her panicked breaths, the forest is even quieter now: too quiet. She hears the rustling of leaves, but the source of the sound stays hidden.
Lip trembling, Katelyn manages to whimper, “J-Jay? W-What w-was t-that?”
When she hears no response, she takes a moment to brace herself. Katelyn’s whole body is shaking in fear, but she has no choice. She turns around slowly and finds herself face to face with the same creature they’d encountered before, spinning a web around Jay with a hungry look in its eyes.
“J-Jay? What do I do?”
“L-Look in my bag. Y-You should find my s-special s-scissors in there,” Jay was trying to keep her voice steady, but despite her superior knowledge of Transformed, it seems even Jay finds the prospect of becoming a monster’s dinner terrifying.
“W-What will they d-do?”
“They’re the same scissors River used to free Mei from this exact same monster in the book! Grab them and come cut the web trapping me. Start with my hands and work your way down!”
Before she can even begin to comprehend what happens next, Katelyn jumps into action. The monster roars in fury, but she is too quick for it. All the time she spent training with Mei and the others seems to have paid off, and within seconds, Jay is free! But there’s no time for a proper reunion. The two friends run for their lives; there is a blinding light; and they are back home.
“Huh?” Jay asks. “How’d we get back here?”
“I don’t know, but I guess you did it! You got us home!” Relieved, Katelyn goes to hug Jay but stops when she sees Jay’s somber expression.
“Hey? What’s wrong?” Katelyn questions, brow furrowed.
“It’s just… I hoped…” Jay pauses, struggling to get her words out.
“You wanted to see them one more time. Didn’t you?” As realization hits her, Katelyn immediately feels guilty. Her eyes soften, and she hopes that Jay doesn’t mistake her question for an accusation.
“Yeah. I know it’s silly. We don’t even belong in their world, but… I at least wanted them to know we made it out alive.”
“Well… I guess I was doubtful before, but maybe there is a way for you to find your way back. And I’m not trying to get your hopes up. I promise; I truly believe you could go back.”
“Why?” Jay asks, looking unimpressed.
Katelyn is silent for a few moments before finally speaking, “Look, I owe you an explanation and… an apology.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ll be honest. I was a little exasperated when you first introduced me to Transformed. I just assumed it was another one of your obsessions, something endearing but also just another fantasy world with little practical importance. But I was wrong. I see that now. If not for your supreme knowledge of Transformed, we never would have made it out alive.”
“Thanks. I appreciate you for saying that, but why are you telling me this now?” Jay asks a trace of confusion and hurt in her voice.
“I just mean that your ability to see the world in a way I can’t is powerful, and I think that’s why you were able to enter their universe and why I think you can find your way back. You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it.”
“Really? I mean autism is just part of who I am. It’s not exactly a superpower, but I appreciate you saying that.”
“Yeah… Maybe we can talk more as we walk. Want to hang out at my house and read Transformed together?”
“Sure. You’re a good friend, Katelyn. Now then… our next adventure awaits!”